Learning to Breathe

Today I did a personality test for a friend, apparently it’s part of her training to be a financial planner. That made me wonder how much different the way people see me from the way I see myself is. In any case, here’s what I know now about the person that is me:

(This will be a list cos that’s the way it’s done! In no order whatsoever)

1. I have always thought of myself as an introvert. Until I find myself trying to cut someone in the middle of the conversation, and this has happened quite a few times. But yea, I think I still am an introvert.
2. Sometimes I find it hard to sympathize with people, and then I feel guilty.
3. I have no idea what to say to people in depression, in sadness, in pain. It’s always said that they just need someone to listen, but if that’s true, they can just pour it out to their dogs.
4. I am good at keeping secrets. Your secret will go with me to my grave. Unless you say otherwise.
5. I can be really naggy and I know it. It’s just part of being the eldest and I can’t help it. But I really really hate being told that I’m naggy.
6. I like to look at pretty girls and the models in the women’s magazines although I feel insecure enough. Somehow I get satisfaction from torturing myself.
7. I prefer to go out with 2 or more people because I’m tired of making effort to talk and listen all the time.
8. I have never told anyone ‘I love you’ other than my family and girlfriends, and no one other than them has ever told me that either. I believe I’m missing something here.
9. I like reading, but I’m not intellectual at all. When I try to read the clever books, I feel more stupid when I don’t get it and/or don’t get why people like it.
10. I love rainy windy days, and I get to stay at home snuggled in my blanket reading my favorite books.
11. I believe in God, I pray, I go to church and I try to read something from the Bible everyday. I proclaim myself as a Christian. And yet I don’t feel close to Him.
12. In my morbid moments, I think of my parents dying and I tell God, please please don’t take them away because I need them, I love them, and I can’t live without them. Then there are times when I get irritated by them and lost my patience and wish they would just leave me alone. Then I feel worse.
13. I honestly hope that my siblings will do very well in life because I want someone in this family to make a name out of the family.
14. I honestly am not very ambitious. I wonder why I am so easily contented in life.
15. I want to know what love is (yes, exactly like the song). I don’t even know the difference between in love and falling in love.
16. I have never been kissed (other than my family!).
17. I don’t drink because I turn red so easily and I get blotchy face. Anyway, I save a lot of money by not drinking.
18. I learned cycling twice, and I’m still not sure how to do it. I think I have a poor sense of balance.
19. I learned driving, but I’m still not confident enough to do it. Maybe when I am forced to, I will learn again.
20. I went diving once. Thought it was cool, but too expensive to do it all the time.
21. I have poor complexion. Inherited from my mom. Mom, love you, but this skin is killing me.
22. I have poor eyesight. This one’s from my dad. Gonna do Lasik soon, so it’s gonna be ok hopefully.
23. I can’t stand obese people, people with B.O. and people who talk more than they work.
24. I am terrified of cockroaches.
25. Sometimes I feel very empty inside. I don’t know where I’m going what I’m going to do. I don’t know if this is depression.
26. I cry at movies easily. Quite embarrassing seriously.
27. I like to eat instant noodles, eggs, fried Hokkien mee, Yangzhou fried rice, salmon sashimi, chicken sausages, Japanese curry rice, chawanmushi, bibimbap, fresh boiled crabs, nasi lemak, Taiwan milk tea and a lot more. Anyway my tastes change from time to time.
28. I want to be taken care of. Does this mean I need a fatherly figure?
29. The only reason I would think of having kids is because I think my parents would make great grandparents. And I want them to experience it before they die.
30. I need to be likable. And I hate conflicts and fights. But I don’t think I’m a submissive person.

That’s all for the day. I’m sure there are a lot more I can say, but I shouldn’t waste time just thinking about myself (ha!). It’ll be interesting if someone can tell me things I don’t know about myself.